Friday, December 28, 2007

You are the source of all that I need

Lord, You are my source


Lord Jesus, I praise your Holy Name.  Father God and Holy Spirit, I always mean you too, when I give praise.  I know you are the original and the source and the whole object of my desire, the three of you together, so when I say one I mean all.  But I don’t know if that way of addressing you is proper or not.  My God and my Lord and my life, I praise you and exalt your holy name!!!

Thank you for the night’s sleep I had.  Thank you for my food today and my house.  Thank you for the TV, and the computer, and the lights being paid, and my car running, and all of us being very nearly perfectly well.

Lord, I recognize you as the source of all good things that come to me, and my ONLY true friend.  You have set me among many “friends”, but there is only ONE that is able to save and to be with me throughout the lonely night, and in times of crisis.  You are always my light and I am your shadow.  : )

God, you are the opposite of what the world has come to know as their living everyday experience.  You are all good and all powerful.  You are all immediate and conscious and independent of what we think or when we take time to think of you.

I am glad, Lord.  I am glad you are so far above my expectations of God, and so totally, absolutely and intrinsically capable of running the universe and making all things as they should be.

I rejoice in that, and exclaim it to the world!  It makes me happy to know that whether I live or die, or what I experience, that there is a LIFE, a reality and a purpose that is far above anything I’ve created.  And that it exists beyond my small role in it.

As I go about my chores, and contemplate bills or needs, or other’s needs, I know that I can totally rest in you and your promises.  I know as I lay down at night, and finally my will gives up and lets my body sleep, I know that I live and move and have my being inside of YOUR being, and am NEVER apart from your being.  It is a comforting, completing thought of wholeness and wellness.  If any reader of this prayer can understand this most important point.  We can never be separated from God, unless You, Lord, remove us from your presence and cast us into the pit. 

But you have promised us that you will never do that if we are seeking you.  Searching for your face, your heart and your truth.  I long to seek you on every level that you exist, and to know the mysteries of your other parts that are hidden from man and even from those who serve you in the Holies.

I will spend my eternity seeking you out, further and deeper, and to know you in every way, if you will enlarge my courage Lord, that I could behold you and Your SELF, without fainting or death.

But then my heart also longs to share you with others and to turn to them and pour out any blessings that are mine to give, and those you have granted me to give, to others.  So that they can be comforted, nourished and pointed in the right direction to find peace.  To find YOU.

Lord, no man or woman or child can be happy until they have found you.  All the emptiness that the world feels, and all the things it tries to fill the void with, will never fit.  We have a round hole as you are round, but all else that we seek are squares, and they will never fill this space, or ease its emptiness.

I pray that we all find you, and experience you, and love you.  I pray that you hold us all tightly and never let any one of us go.  Let all the world know your Holiness…and that holiness draws us like moths to a flame.  You ARE the flame, and the life and the breath.  We drown in lack of breath, and lack of everything we need, until we are filled with your All.

Thank you Lord.  I praise you and adore you and exalt you and magnify your name, because you are the ALL.  You are “I AM”.  And because of you, I am.  Without you I am not. 

I don’t know where I was before I was here, Lord.  I imagine myself cradled in your arms, or in the guard of angels until my first breath outside the womb.  But I am thankful that you loved me in that darkness and the “was not yet”.

You alone are the key that unlocks the door to being and to loving and to having.  I AM because of you, I HAVE because of you and I LOVE because of you.  Thank you for that as well.

Inadequate.  All of our praises and words are inadequate.  All of our attention, and consciousness is inadequate, because it is always split.  There are sounds and things around us that steal our full attention from you.  Even things we don’t particularly want to be distracted by. 

One day, I will exist in your glory, in a place that I will not be distracted and I can focus (my then more perfected brain) upon you and let out a song or a burst of love from my heart that might come near to what you deserve from me.

Until then, I spend each day attempting to reach you in these words, and silently at my computer, or with sounds of praise at the piano, and with hands joined with Chris or Daniel or some other soul – to lift our hearts into your presence.

You are the all and the reason that all exists and I cannot find the words to describe your beauty and magnificence.  The beauty in Who you are alone is beyond ability to grasp.

Thank you for that, Lord.  May I please you.  May we all please you in our attempts at praise.  Today and always Lord, guide and protect us, provide for us.  Give us today what we need today and help us be patient and wait until tomorrow for what we need tomorrow. 

That which we have, that is more than we need today, please help us to share with others.  Help us to be brave when facing what we think is lack, and shortage.  I know there can’t be any real lack, because you exist and you are in me.  But we all imagine fearful things and when unexpected things happen, we are startled out of our calm and peace.

Please hold us in your peace, Lord.  Let us wear a groove in the floor of the path to worship and commune with you, so that in utter darkness our feet would still feel the correct way to get back with you.

Please help us not to choose the darkness and the thrills of iniquity, even for short times.  I never want to be separated from you again.  It always hurts so much to reach the point I’m aware that I have left you.  The returning is a joy, but the humility is painful.  I have an unseen foot that wants to kick my unseen behind but it kicks in my heart and my self love.  So that when I would reach you again, I am so far behind in the love.

Please instead use me as a vessel of love and joy.  Fill me to overflowing and let me burst out at the seams to share with others.  The “Other” that I am, who lives beside me in the flesh.  My neighbor.  My family.  My friends.  The strangers, who are never stranger than me.

: )  With a smile I leave this note today.  I trust in you.  I rejoice in your provisions and your care, and will go off now to happily craft our supper from your bounty.  Bless those who need you and who are having a hard time with the loving.

Bless those who exist, and those who are in the “was not yet” place.  And bless those who have passed over into your “now”.

Thank you Jesus.  Amen.


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