for a variety of situations in which two or more people share living
space, or possessions, or relationships.
Adjust the wording to fit your situation, attach the recommended
papers and have signatures notarized to be legally binding. Check
with a lawyer in your state to be sure each of these statements are
legal in your area.
you think that having a contract means that you don't trust each other,
or that it would ruin your "romantic experience", please think
again. More than half of all marriages fall apart in the first few
years, and the courts are overburdened with unnecessary litigation for
things that could be resolved simply by discussing them in advance.
contract helps you think of what to discuss before marriage to ensure
success, and if you're already married, might help you fix the problems.
also see the discussion in "Are
you ready to get married?"
may print this contract for your personal use, but please do not sell or
publish the contract or any part of it, without my written permission.
I make no guarantee that this contract is sufficient legal protection in
your state, it is up to you to ask your attorney. I also make no
guarantee that this contract will prevent your marriage or relationship
from failure or divorce, or prevent violence or attack by one or both
Agreement and Disclosure
make the following promises to our prospective spouse or significant
other, entering into the following contract, and clarifying our
relationship with this document.
respect your privacy. I
will not read your mail, enter your purse or wallet without your
permission and will not read your emails or files on your computer
unless you show them to me yourself.
respect the gifts you have and the purpose to which you were born,
recognizing that our gifts and paths are not the same.
I allow you the freedom to honor your developing gifts and
pursue your path, regardless of our love for each other, and
understand that having different paths does not threaten either of
us, and that it is impossible to take anything away from the other.
These are God given gifts and inalienable rights.
will date, cohabitate or enter into various events and situations by
mutual consent, both as a whole relationship and concerning any
particular event that may present itself.
At any time that an event or the relationship feels
uncomfortable, seems like a betrayal of ourselves, or would harm
either of us in any way, the agreement for that particular event is
suspended upon a clear and honest notice to the other.
will not harm you physically; I will not curse you, scream at you or
intimidate you in any way. I
will not belittle you or embarrass you in public or in private.
I will not pressure you to do my will or bidding.
I will not use physical, verbal, emotional or financial abuse
against you. To do so,
will void and nullify our contract and relationship.
At such time you are free to go.
(This applies to both or all parties involved and must be
understood as an absolute rule that works both ways.)
will respect you when you are on the telephone, and will not
interrupt or talk loudly, make noise to hinder your call, or prevent
you from doing your business, whether personal or private.
I will allow you to talk with, visit and have over your
friends and family, and promise to allow you to have your space and
time with the people you care about and realize that it doesn't
threaten me in any way.
will leave you and your finances, family and affairs both personal
and business, in better shape than when I found you.
I will take nothing from you that you donít give freely or
that I didnít earn. Any
arbitration shall take place before a clergyman or court of law.
IT WILL NOT be fought out in anger, abuse, threats or police
action. IT WILL NOT
turn into harm done against each other in any way.
IF such angers are sparked, we each agree to retreat into
separate quarters or rooms, and cool off completely, and will not
seek to discuss it or resolve it again without the help of a
clergyman or court of law.
our relationship ends, either by choice or by violation of one of
these points, neither of us will pursue the other in any violent
way, or cause harm or slander against the other.
We agree to part as friends, benevolent to each other and
honoring each other and the universe, for the greater good, and our
belief in what is right.
recognize that we each hold some ideals and beliefs as sacred, and
will make every effort to honor the beliefs and ideals of the other.
It is not necessary to be converted, or to have those same
beliefs, but it IS necessary to feel the freedom to carry our own
without fear of reprisal or pressure to change.
Any ridicule of these beliefs by either partner, is a serious
indication that this relationship is not going to work, and can be
deemed harmful to one party, therefore terminates the agreement.
agree to our union for as long as it lasts and that no child or
third party will be brought into this union under THIS existing
agreement. Any such
pregnancy or partnership with a third, MUST be agreed to and
discussed in advance to the best of our ability, in a separate
agreement. IF an
accidental pregnancy develops, we stipulate here how that shall be
handled and any responsibilities held and incurred by either party.
(may attach separate sheet for instructions)
any time that either of us wishes to end this contract, we agree to
supply to the other a statement to that effect, in a timely manner
that identifies any possible reason for the breakup.
This is to be done in a way that offers constructive
criticism or blessings wished for the partner who is receiving the
breakup notice. It is
not a place to strike out or abuse the other.
such a notice of breakup is given, we agree to receive it with
dignity and resolve. We
agree that we will honor that request for freedom and let the
spouse/ significant other go in peace.
Before parting, it would be very kind if each person would
focus on the good points of their partner and let them know what
they appreciated about their relationship or specific things done
for them, given to them etc. from the relationship.
a breakup is decided upon, a timely and non threatening separation
of possessions and assets will be carried out according to the
following list of items and their final intended owner.
If additional items are purchased during the time of
cohabitation, a new list must be made and dated, filed with this
agreement. If this is
not done, then a division of such property in question must be
decided in arbitration. Thirty
days shall be the expected time within which these items will be
distributed or returned, unless otherwise noted, or if conditions
exist that require a different time period.
list of major, or sentimental items and their intended final owners
in case of such breakup (or death of one of the partners) shall
be filled out and attached to this agreement before signing.
Changes may be made upon mutual consent by adding a new
statement, attached to this agreement and dated.
Notary seal on signatures is recommended to avoid court
and living things jointly owned must be recognized as having their
own needs and feelings, so they must be jointly owned and allowed
visitation rights or shared ownership for the life of the animal, in
most cases. If either
party disagrees, state the following below and list who gets the pet
if breakup occurs.
obligations: we agree
that any debts incurred during the cohabitation are joint
responsibility and shall be divided and paid equally or according to
decisions concerning who shall pay the bills and budget, who shall
work and who shall cook and clean are to be discussed now to avoid
any misunderstanding and future argument.
Attach as much information as possible concerning
responsibilities and chores on a separate sheet, added to
this agreement before signing.
case of the death of one or both parties, the instructions for burial,
notification of family, division of property and beneficiary status are
to be recorded on a separate sheet and added to this agreement.
It is recommended to have wills, living wills or trusts, and life
insurance as well, but these things are not covered in this agreement.
This agreement deals only with a simple understanding of the
wishes and needs of both parties.
past financial or moral obligations, taxes, children to support and
family needs shall be discussed in detail before signing this
initials here) Areas to
discuss: What if
previous children come to live with you, or have medical or
financial crisis? What
if a close family member dies and has left you as guardian of minor
children? It is
strongly recommended that each party signing this agreement first
examine the prospective partnerís last 3 yearsí tax statements,
credit report, have a criminal background check done and meet the
close family members of their partners, so that no surprises or
problems will arise from the past.
certify to my partner(s) or spouse that I am free from all disease
to the best of my knowledge, and I promise to remain faithful and
monogamous to him/her during our stay together.
If this is not the desired relationship, the correct
intention is stated below or on separate sheet.
For the safety of my prospective spouse/significant
other, I attach here a statement of my health, with the date of my
last STD tests. This
statement must come from a medical authority, and be attached before
signing. Any violation
of this promise to be faithful voids and cancels this
agreement and the other partner is free to go.
Discuss hereditary and genetic disorders or diseases and how
they may affect plans to have children later.
included with this document are:
regarding unexpected pregnancy
13: disposal of possessions
14: sharing of pets upon
16: decisions of who works,
who cleans and cooks etc.
17: in event of death,
wishes for funeral and possessions
19: statement of health
Name and Address: