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The Secret Garden Letters

October 2009


Ten Steps To Being Happy And Successful

© Copyright 2009, Lisa Tyler


If you’re like most of us today, staying balanced, grounded and achieving any measure of happiness seems more difficult than ever before.

You may have been impacted by the economy, lost your job or house, or are just sitting at home FEELING that nothing will ever be the same again. 

But is that true or are you suffering from hearing so much about the problems of the world that your heart is overburdened?  Are you focusing on the problems rather than the situation and blessings you actually have?

Mass, instant communications have brought the entire world into our living rooms!  Your TV station reports about arrests and calamities that are happening several states away.  They do that because they haven’t enough calamity to report about in just your own town to fill the allotted time space.  (Seems like they could start a campaign to fill the extra space with good news about local families!)

Man wasn’t designed to bear all the problems of the earth, or be aware of them.  We are warned from childhood to be careful what we let our ears hear and our eyes see.  Yet, we listen eagerly thinking we can somehow DO something about all of this, when in reality we’re just feeding our negativity and iniquity.  We’re feeding our LACK of faith in God, and setting ourselves up for failure and depression.  We’re trying to play “God”, and feeling responsible for more than our share.

Over the last 50 years or so, we’ve been programmed to believe life has to be the way we see it today.  We think we have to have big mortgages, insurance policies, burial plans, electricity, and cars and to rely constantly on doctors and government to keep us alive.

There ARE other ways to live, without much money, and without responsibilities of the status quo. 

Here are ten things you can do today to be happy, successful and get more out of life, and they cost nothing!  You may lean towards reading the physical instructions first, but the really important steps happen inside your mind and heart.


1.   “Know thyself.”  In the past, to help children come of age, to find who they are and where they fit into the world, people took time alone in nature.  Our western culture has lost this habit, and we instead push ourselves straight from childhood into colleges and jobs, ever striving for more material things and better titles.

Wise parents will allow their children to discover their talents and what they love to do at an early age, encouraging them to follow their hearts and gifts, rather than the promise of big money and the best schools.

If you’re an adult reading this, it’s not too late to discover what you are passionate about, (which is likely related to your purpose on earth.)

When you find who you are, and how precious and “whole” you really are, what is there on earth that can harm you?

It is only when we are seeking image and the approval of the group that we are vulnerable to situations and market fluctuations and the fear of someone taking something away from us.

There is a belief among some religions that no man can be hurt in any lasting way by the actions of their neighbor, because it is in our power to forgive, and we are only using the land we occupy and all the tools of this life, until we die.  They are available to all.

They believe that only you can harm yourself, when you act in anger, rebellion or selfishness. 

What you truly own, no one can take from you.  Possessions and money are only things and have no “real” value to your life, because most can be replaced with a little effort. 

Also, don’t be overly concerned about what people think of you.  The only person you have to impress when all is said and done is you.

If you can say when your life is over, that you accomplished what you set out to do, had some fun and lived at peace on earth, then you’ve done very well, with or without diplomas and bank accounts!


2.  Make a plan of what is most important to you to keep in your life.  Determine that you will owe no man, and get those bills off your back as soon as possible.  Don’t do this without first making a life choice to avoid going back into debt at the first sign of trouble.

Credit cards and checks are relatively recent inventions and are neither natural nor conducive to a happy life.  Although loan companies and pawn shops have been around since man began naming inanimate objects “money”, whenever you hear about them throughout history, it usually had a bad story attached.

Do without if you have to, but break the bonds of borrowing, pawning items, losing your things and not maintaining what you have.  (It’s just as important to realize there is a cost to owning something, and if you let it deteriorate or go unused, it’s the same as throwing money away.)

So, sort out your home and eliminate possessions and obligations.  Pare it down to the barest minimum that you can stand, and then keep eliminating more as you accumulate.  (Things and obligations pile up like old bills and need to be shredded regularly!)  Pare down expenses too, and experience the joy of having more money and more free time!  

Practice saying no, and as you get better at it you’ll experience a feeling of power.  (Read this article for more help: Ten Ways Family and Friends Use You )

Another thing that goes along with standing on your own two feet, is knowing that no man or woman can make you successful or happy.

Every person comes to this earth only responsible for himself.  It is given to each man the ability to make their life what they want it to be, and it is impossible to do it FOR another.  If you are in an unhappy marriage, you must stop believing that it is your spouse’s place or in their power to make everything wonderful for you.

The only things you need from mankind are mutual respect for life, and if you’re married, cooperation in attaining “like goals”.  If your goals are not the same, then you shouldn’t be together to begin with.

Women, you may be angry that you were created to be the helpers of your husbands, and want your own chance at commanding a life.

There is no law I’m aware of that says you have to get married, and if you understood how marriage is supposed to work, you’d BE commanding your life, along with having a great relationship and the perks of protection inside marriage.  Believe me, it’s a win/win situation when you’re totally committed and submitted.  (More on that subject soon.)


3.  Get physically moving.  Brisk walks of 15 minutes or more are your goal, or marching in place or dancing.  Do anything that gets your heart pumping and your mind focusing on the next step instead of your next problem.  Start with 5 minutes at a time, and work up to it.  Imagine how much more joy you will have when you lose weight, or firm up muscles and can DO more physically than before!   An hour of exercise a day, done as your play or hobby, is a delight, but work up to it slowly.  Split it up for now if you can, and live a little!

Tip:  If you are really serious about losing weight, eat like a cave man.  The majority of our pre-packaged and processed foods are literally poison to our systems.  They are dulling our minds and making our bodies unable to do what they’re designed to do.  Even most meats come from animals that are loaded down with growth hormones, anti-biotics and things you just don’t need to eat! 

(You can buy a whole deer ready for the freezer for under $50, from the processors who serve hunters, and you don’t need to buy a gun!)  You can also look for free range cows or organically grown foods, but they’re more expensive and may not actually be what they claim.

Don’t deprive yourself of all the things you love, but make more of the goodies by hand and leave the trans fats alone!


4.  Get outside and breathe fresh air!  Learn to breathe deeper and fill your lungs.  Breathe from your diaphragm and expand your chest, not just your tummy.  Take a few minutes each day to open the doors and windows and exchange the stale air inside for fresh air outside.  Don’t worry; our homes are still more polluted inside than the air outside most days.  

Deep breathing along with massaging your tummy helps keep your internal organs stimulated and in good health.  (Rub your tummy daily, more than 100 times in a large circle moving in the direction your intestines take.  Don’t press down too hard.)  Rub from top right just under your ribs to top left, then down to the bottom left of your abdomen, and over to the bottom right, then back up. 

Your digestive track is your most important line of defense and the organ system that will make or break your life.  Every other system of your body depends on it!!  You can live without an arm or leg, even without some internal organs, but you cannot live without a healthy functioning digestive system.

The things you can do to keep it healthy are exercise, eliminating stress, making a plan for your life, and building a healthy self-image.  (The Bible says that what a man eats does not defile him, but what he speaks that condemns him to death.  Very true!)


5.  Install more lights in your home and open the curtains.  Let the sunshine in, and get outside in the middle of the day for a few minutes to be “shined on”.  This exposure to sunlight resets our clocks too and aids natural sleep, as well as helping the body produce the chemicals and vitamins it needs to.  (You may have heard of a condition called SAD, meaning depression that is seasonal, brought on by lack of sunlight during winter months.) 


6.  Adjust your sleeping schedule.  Go to bed a bit earlier each night and get up a bit earlier in the morning.  Some people are sleep deprived, but most people experience fatigue as a symptom of depression, and more actual sleep isn’t what’s needed, just an adjustment of the hours. 


7.  Use libraries, books and magazines, and the Internet for information on how you can live simply.  Look for older ways to do things, alternatives and cheaper ways.  Learn to make your gifts and your own clothes OR barter with others.  Ask older people in your community to share their knowledge.

There are many websites on frugal living, alternative energy and ways you can change your methods of cooking, heating and lighting your home, to disaster proof your family for times when money is tight. 

There are wind up lanterns used in third world countries and sun ovens you can make at home from cardboard and plexi-glass.  You’ll feel safer when there is less that someone can threaten you with.

Bake more, and teach your children to do these things.  Share time with the family as you explore frugal living.  (Baking goodies yourself with olive oil or animal fats will eliminate deadly man made trans fats from your diet which will give you longer life, a trimmer body and greater overall health.  It also creates memories your children can keep of you long after you have passed on.) 

There is a lot of bogus health information being passed around, and much of it by doctors and nurses themselves.  Research everything, question everything and know that YOU are ultimately responsible for your life, nobody else.


8.  Read your Bible and use scripture for promises, for a chant in meditation and for a weapon to prevent harm. Rely on God for your needs and for your security.  

Find the scripture tools here: 

Find a place to go regularly where you can be alone and seek God.  Pray, meditate and just listen to nature.  Listen to the wind and rain and imagine what God wanted you to hear in its voice.  These things are naturally calming, they're the music that He programmed the earth to sing to you to aid your healing. 

When you are discovering yourself again, be still and know the power and the wonder of the Lord.  Seek HIM alone, first and with all of your heart, and HE will add to your life all that needs to be in it. 

Stop and stand still, be thankful for what you have and where you are. Know that God is there, all powerful and capable of delivering you to safety. 

Stop so that you can see that there is NO real danger around you, other than what you create.  

Remember the old saying “they can kill you but they can’t eat you”?  The point is, if you’re living a good life to the fullest, it doesn’t matter when you go.  If the very worst thing that can happen to you is death, and you understand death to be just a passing over to a glorious beginning in God’s presence, you can be absolutely fearless in your pursuit of LIFE!  (The Bible says to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord, so what have you to fear?)


9.  Perhaps most importantly, change your way of thinking.  If you often find yourself being negative or jealous of the good fortune of others, or their incomes or vacations, or if you criticize easily, you are undermining your own success!

At first, though it sounds mechanical, say out loud phrases such as “I wish the best for them”, “God bless _____”, “I’m so glad for these people, and I hope they get even more joy, money, health, etc.”  

Don’t allow yourself to speak negative opinions or question why someone has bad luck, and don’t make negative observations about people. When you point out someone’s flaws, you are narrowing your spiritual heart and squeezing the Holy Spirit out of you.  

You should be inviting more of Him in, not pushing Him out of your life by your unholy words and thoughts.  If a negative thought about someone comes into your mind, immediately say “God, I bless __(name of person)”.  Add with it a big smile and let it seep into your heart.  

Know that God alone will judge people and He is keeping everyone in His hands, ordaining their lives and fulfilling what people’s behavior and beliefs are dishing out to them.  It’s not your place to name a person’s sin; God sees everything.  When you call someone else’s sin into the spotlight, some of that light is going to point right back at you and reveal all that you have wrong in your life. 

Jealousy and envy are symptoms of a fear of lack.  If you truly believed that God would and WILL give you all the desires of your heart, you would not have time to be jealous over someone else’s goods.  You’d be claiming all that you want in Jesus’ name, speaking the words before the reality appears, to make it appear! Use the faith confessions below to claim more of what you want. 


10.  Remember that you are SPIRIT inside a body temporarily.  You will never die, but only change your clothing in death.  The body is not most important; it is only a vehicle to get you around while you are here on this earth.  

Therefore the body can be ugly, deformed or poor, yet it serves just as well whatever purpose God put us here for.  Don’t allow the fads of our day to convince you that money, beauty and health are all important.  

Understanding ourselves and knowing our relationship with God, is what IS important.  How you interact with others, how you have helped others, and how your spirit and joy ease the passing of this life for those around you, is important as well. 

The big question is how do we progress spiritually, emotionally and in wisdom while navigating this physical environment we live in?  How do we do it without focusing entirely on the things we can do physically, ignoring the spirit?  And how can we nurture spirit without ignoring the body?  How you choose to deal with this balancing act is what defines you.  Every thought you have and every action you take is recorded in your body, resulting in the life you will live tomorrow.  Everything you have chosen and believed is what you will be judged by.

Word of warning about these glorious bodies:

We know our bodies were designed to heal themselves, and interact with all the bacteria and viruses on earth. Every cell is in communication constantly with other cells and with the brain.  The moment a virus or organism tries to invade, it knows what to do and goes about doing it as long as the body is not depleted of rest and basic minerals, vitamins and chemicals to do this job.  (And as long as we’re not subconsciously trying to self-destruct!)

Most of the drugs that are prescribed for people are not needed.  Some are so dangerous and unnecessary that we’re seeing more and more lawsuits advertised on TV against the doctors and manufacturers that provided them to their victims.

It is up to each individual to be the master of their body, to research online what is being said about the healthcare and medicines they believe they need, and to take a proactive approach to your health.

It is my opinion that all that we need was supplied to us in the foods we eat, and in simple plant materials (herbs) that God provided here on earth, but it is widely recognized that how we think and live affects our health as much as what healthcare we receive.

The bottom line is, being happy is a CHOICE.  It is a system of electrical brain wave activity that triggers memories and emotions.  Caused by internal chemicals produced by the body through physical activity and certain foods you eat, and by repetition.  Did you know that you train yourself to feel and act in certain ways, by repeating them? 

You can train yourself to feel happy by working this system backwards.  Begin by putting a smile on your face.  It will trigger a backwards response of the feeling of happiness.  Your subconscious and your body will not know the difference, and will give you the health benefits of happiness, as well as get yourself into the habit. Each time you do it, it will get easier to feel it all over. 


For more information on these subjects, see my pages on health and healing:

Faith Confessions To Claim God's Power And Put It To Work

Seven Steps To Healing

Why Do We Get Sick?

Good News, Here is the Power to Overcome!



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